the gentlest gentleman.

i have an incredible amount of apathy right now.
i just feel like i've given all i've had .
and well there isn't much left.
i'll most likely get my second wind soon.
but i can't shake this depression that is taking hold of me.
i got to the point recently where i was just like please i just want everything to get better or i just want to go home.
i'm doing my best to stick it out.
but i still suck at finding my optimism .
that thing i used to hold in such high regard now just annoys me.
and i wonder where it went.
either way .
i'm trying my best to pull myself back up on my feet.
we will see how that works out.
chris said some mean things.
which he apologized later for but either way.
i don't know .
i just can't shake that rejected feeling .
so i'm gonna stop trying and just let myself be for a while.
i'm hoping this will heal myself.
from all this bullshit i've been dealing with lately.
-m