we're all in this together.

so .
i'm currently in the process of looking for a second job.
on top of that ..
my fear level has risen and dropped in the past few weeks.
my lease is up soon.
and i might be making a huge mistake but mistakes are part of life.
and i must take a chance.
you can all say you told me so like last time i'm sure.
but i'm needing to write this out.
i may be a hopeless romantic and try to see the best in people.
but i'm moving in with joshua.
my lease is up at the end of august and we are moving in together .
i was terrified but my panic has been eased.
and things feel much better.
he's brilliant..and i hope i continue to see that in him.
there is love between us and hope i haven't had hope like that in quite some time.
so to see it again is a wonderful thing .
and as i bang this words out on this keyboard i'm realizing more and more .
that i'm happier than i have been in quite some time.
so .
my mother and stepfather know about this and not much else.
i still need to tell my father but i'm dreading that just a bit.
because we don't talk about much as it is.
and well.
i hate to hear his opinion i'm much more of the type to just go with something
take forever to a couple of seconds to make my decision and then tell everyone else about it and let them make up their minds about it.
i'm not sure what this says about me but yeah.
i've been reading a book on codependence and its been helping as well.
makes me realize its okay to feel certain things.
so this rant which didn't start out as a rant but is feeling more and more like one.
well .
yeah.
also .
i will be seeing death cab in august and as the date approaches i'm more and more excited.
so i will take tons of photos and make sure to post them.
-m
p.s. i have to keep reminding myself to call my mother.
it shouldn't be that way.
i must stay active in my personal relationships and not become enclosed in just myself.
also i must begin to crochet again i miss that.