i can feel myself falling into a certain state of mind again.
where it's not enough
where i'm addicted to these new feelings and thats all.
wherei can't sit still.
where the word more is all i can think about ..
i wonder if i do have "addict" genes.
being on my own is lonely
and the lonliness fills me up
and i get scared and a bit desperate at times
i'm gettin past these feelings.
but i know they are there
so i have trouble sleeping
and i end up online
on these sites.
which i mean i love the connection
it feels good.
but sometimes i worry that i'm to accepting of everyone.
i mean people like marcella are so fucking critical.
and i can be happy for a while at least around anyone..
which is right?.
i mean i can find attractive qualities in almost anyone.
and i don't know.
is that a good thing or a bad thing?.
ugh.
i feel lame.
-M