my last post could of been about boys..
but it wasn't .
it was about family.
i went to visit my grandmother and grandfather.
i went with my aunt, uncle and cousin.
and on the way back ...all the while hating the life i was living ..
my aunt uncle, cousin and i went to eat.
and i thought this is what family could be.
and i missed it.
i wanted to be theirs.
i wanted brett to be my brother
and to have the family unit .
while slightly disfunctional is still functioning and loving.
and i wanted to die when i got home and heard my shmoozing some girl in his room to really loud music.
things will never be perfect.
if i want a better family it has to be my decision and has to start with me.
-m
p.s. i'm slowly starting to be happier with myself..
but my lack of confidence doesn't help my situation.