i hate nights like these.
where the air is cold but quiet.
it makes my stomach and heart uneasy.
the moments where it feels like my feet will never hit the ground.
those moments come from nights like these.
i feel something bad is going to happen.
i want to be wrong.
-m

i need to be a redhead immediately

8:30 and i've yet to begin getting ready.
i've been starting to get that panic-y
feeling in the pit of my stomach when things
are going to go wrong.
it was my grandfathers birthday yesterday
i sent him a package of old man goodies.
A newsboy cap, slippers, and some argyle socks.
i tried to find a cardigan but my funds weren't sufficient.
i hope he likes it..
i put my dad's name on the card even though he had nothing to do with it.
i wish he cared more.
-m

i start wine studies and literature and composition tomorrow..
excited for the literature part because linquist is fun to look at which is my instructor..
i'm so tired from this weekend..
but it was fun..
wolfman was only okay..
i wanted it to be amazing but not so much..
it's storyline was kind of everywhere..
and i found myself trying to stay awake instead of at the edge of my seat..
ugh..
oh well..
-m

boys boys boys.

i could be at the grammys right now!!!..
i need to go to the stupid 1 time event seminar..
i hate that our class always gets out so late..
a bunch of students at our school are working the grammys tonight.
thing are getting better at school i'm more sure of myself....
well at least a bit.
i'm gonna be sous again on tuesday.
we will see how it goes..
my heart is still torn..
i know it's my own fault.
i'm trying to let go.
but yeah..
i know
broken record...
ugh..
v-day is coming up.
it should be interesting.
he says he has plans for me.
not to mention he is taking me out next friday..
a real date..
and by he i mean danny.
so we'll see.
-m

am i that easily forgotten?..
my heart is in my throat right now..
and my only question is am i that easily forgotten.?.
i felt like a child again..
ignored and alone.
but then again when am i not?.
-m
another sad post.

oh how i wish.
i could live in a series of moments.
for the rest of my time.
happiness is too fleeting and fickle.
and how i wish this feeling of being infinite would last as long
as my heart beats.
-m