so it's official.
i have a boyfriend.
things started falling apart on us yesterday.
with his girlfriend claiming she was pregnant.
i don't understand how some girls would do that.
i got so scared when he called me up and told me that.
i'm like that's it i'm done he's gonna go raise a child with this crazy person.
and i'm back to before.
and i told him my fears later.
and he told me that never crossed his mind child or not he still wanted me to be his.
i nearly cried.
so he attempted to make me like three or four different desserts yesterday
all of which failed..
he dropped the first and fourth one.
and his oven didn't have the proper temperatures for the 2nd and 3rd. When he finally came over to see me he was so frazzled.
i just wanted to hold him.
he took me to this park where he wanted romantic night lights and sunset but there was a baseball game there and it was super packed.
so we went to pinks.
i love sharing food this guy..
so on our way back.
i start talking to him about the defining moments in his life where he asks a girl to be a girlfriend.
and most of the time he seems disinterested and just says something over the phone like "we should date"
lol.
"well why do you care so much about this?"
"because your special"
"i don't care about all the nice restaurants or things you buy me i just wanna spend time with you i wanna be with you"
so i lay my head on his shoulder and after about 2 or so minutes
he leans over and says do you want to be my girlfriend.?.
and i say yes.
and he gets all happy and does a fist pump.
and is like YES..
what a dork..
i love him as if i would say no.
-M.

Nevada was pretty awful.
i'm glad i got to see my grandmother because she's getting much worse
she need transfusions every two weeks now and they are saying that she has something like six months left.
i made chili rellenos which came out rather good despite .
the wrong cheese, flimsy as all hell chilis, a fight, loud as tv not allowing me to concentrate, and flies everywhere.
i had a bit of a meltdown and itdidn't help that the oil popped on my hand.
hurt like hell.
my dad didn't seem to care much.
dunno.
my sope de lima came out really nice.
so i'm looking at restaurants in the chicago area and so far a few nice ones so i'll keep looking.
i'm washing blankets right now and am almost healed.

i had a four day date from thursday to today..

and i dont know how to describe it without sounding desperate or scared.

but i am indeed in love.

and i'm terrified of it but i know i want more.

and i'm begging not to be hurt.

and if i can manage to be trusting and not so hesitant that i know indeed he feels the same.

i am in love after four days.

it feels so ridiculous but its true.

i don't think i fall that easily

but there it is i'm in love.

his name is alejandro.

yeah like the song.

i've liked him for a while but this four day date it changed everything.

flipped my whole world upside down.

day/date one. thursday

dinner at the little next door

i had the second best bread i've ever had.

olive bread dipped in some olive oil.

shared a mushroom vol au vent

which was so good!

and he ordered the falafel sandwich for me while he had the mussels

we ended up switching up anyway the mussels just looked to desirable.

morrocan mint tea and then morrocan ice tea for him and then a tropical fruit ice tea for me.

it was magical?.

the only word i can think of using

it felt as though we entered a different world.

we were no longer in l.a. but in some sorta of post card from some place farther

no worries abound.

just hope.

i hope i 'm doing the feeling justice i mean i really felt seperated from my body.

floating above and enjoying it all.

a trip to the beach afterward

couldn't go down to the water though

it was crowded by to many people.

day/date 2 friday.

picked me up and made me dinner

spicy pasta with a red wine and tomato base w/ purple mashed potatoes

and we watched shutter island

day/date 3 saturday

vegan food at flore in silverlake

avocado and cheese sandwich while he got the portobello panini and a really crappy green shake thing.. i had a pretty awesome shake coconut milk and banana

with bad gelato and a walk.

then to the laemmle to see winters bone.

really really good movie

day/date 4 sunday.

Gardunos taco king breakfast

a trip to monrovia to collect a comic book

meet my parents

then to phillipes near china town for two lamb double dips

i had lemonade he had ice-tea

i feel like i'm spinning and really wouldn't choose to stop if i had the option.

-m

staging

i hate being alone.
that being said..
i hate that can't be alone without getting weird..
working on a paper describing umami
and why it is our fifth basic taste.
i'm trying to stage at a cafe and bakery in monrovia
called merengue
it's going well so far i need to get some sort of paperwork for him to sign.
and he's said it's a go.
so im excited i'll be spending more time at my moms which is both good and horrible.
i'll probably be going to stage at this place from 5-10am and then to school from 12-5pm.
i'll be tired but hopefully very knowledgable.
back to the paper
-M
p.s. stage-free work given to restaurants in order to get experience and expand your resume.

Could use more rise..but can't everything??..
it's from lack of buttering and sugaring the inside of the ramakin..
still very tasty.

i suck at interviews.
really bad.
my palms get sweaty.
my mind goes blank.
and i choke.
i had a mock interview session today.
and almost was in tears by the end of it..
for a fucking mock interview...
ugh..
-M.