making cheeses tomorrow.
excitedly nervous..
my leg has been hurting all day and im not sure why.
hoping it will go away by the morning..
i got an 85 on my test last week..
all my chef ever does is tear us down.
we can never get it completely correct
not that i expect her to give us a gold star everytime we get it right.
but .. i dunno.
an 85 is a good grade..
but why do i still feel like i did a horrible job..
i always say the wrong thing.
and think the wrong way.
i'm hoping things work themselves out i'm loving what i'm doing.
but the way this chef talks..well.
i don't think of money that way.
i have no desire to really do the things she talks about doing.
money doesn't make the world go round in my head
maybe i'm wrong but it doesn't feel wrong in my heart..
i need to start looking for a place to extern because i'll be leaving for it in september.
and after that the real world which scares me even more.
i really wanna start looking into organic slow cooking if not vegan and vegetarian cuisine.
because that's what is important to me.
i love rustic heartfelt food.
not food that has been broken down and turned into more of exhibit while eating than a meal.
not that it doesn't take talent..
it takes more talent that i might ever possess
i just..
i'm finally starting to realize what i want
and what i want is definately not the norm.
-m