FUCK.

wishing well.

dear brother.
please stop your suffering
and know that you are loved.
-m

empty.

he holds no allegiances to me so why do i feel that familiar sting of pain behind all the numbness that is my stomach?.
don't get me wrong.
it's still numb.
but i don't know.
i didn't exactly picture my love life in this situation.
am i that girl?.
fuck why do i wanna puke right now?.
-M.

hey jack it's me i don't mean to bother you but somethings been on my mind.

adam took me around driving last night in vidal's car.
sounds funny.
i almost hit a raccoon. well two actually.
i think he is right about my nervousness though.
like as soon as i get that down i'll be fine.
i had a lot of fun last night.
forgot about certain things that have been troubling me.
manuel texted me again today.
he still feels like shit. sick as a dog.
i feel like the bitch that calls him and tells him i'm sorry you don't feel well but please don't text me.
what drove me nuts is that he called me like an hour before..
and his texts never say anything like i'm going to do this..
or this is the way things are going to be ...
no instead he texts me.
on several occasions.
"i feel i was always made to suffer :("
and
"i'm sorry"
stuff like that.
call me and tell me these things..
i wouldn't of cared if his text had said like i'm going to the hospital or something like that..
i don't know.
-m
p.s. i'm craving more zucchini sticks.

standing next to me.

hung out with jenny today and johnny last night.

ended up spending the night there.

wasn't expected.

didn't sleep very well.

while he just snored away..okay maybe he didn't snore but he did drool on me which is just as bad.

he gave me a pair of pants.

they fit and i can't help but where them.

my hair is now a different color..

i thought it would end up the same neon orange red i got before but now it feels more like deep dark raspberries and pomegranates.

which wasn't expected but i still love.

it's easier to like than the other color.

but looking at the other pictures i already miss my orange hair.

i'm thinking about doing an off the wall color next though like green or something like that.

but for now i'm enjoying the red and hoping to get a swimming cap soon. that way i won't have to worry about it fading so soon.

oh well.

i saw moon with manuel the other night..

i was gonna go swimming again but i had already promised him.

and i didn't wanna bail.

although later i found out he wouldn't of really cared.??

it was kind of weird the way he said it.

like trying to hurt me.but the fact that i really didn't care may have upset him more.

btw. had the most amazing zuchinni fries at tops in pasadena with extra salt/pepper/season salt.

omg heavenly.

even the pickles in the garden burger amazed me.

mmm pickles.

moon was good nothing what i expected but really good..

sam rockwell is a god.

or just an incredibly gifted actor.

and i just found out that gellert grindelwald. will be played by the adorable.jamie cambell bower

who played anthony hope in sweeney todd..

i just remember loving the way he sang "i'll steal you joanna" all while having a fucked up bloody face..

i can't wait to see him in hp even if he'll be in twilight later on as well.

i shouldn't have so much hostility but the movie made me laugh more than gush so meh.

more later.

-M

p.s. amri did my nails which were completely awesome for a while but when they started chipping at the ends i clipped them. i'm not good at long nails but i do love my new short silver ones..:D

p.s.s. any ideas for hair colors after this one?